Trying out new things in the bedroom is a ton of fun, and clearly an interesting way to spice things up and give your sex life more variety. Everyone wants to do it and everyone wants to try the most unique and interesting things possible. However, some things just don’t work out well when you take them into the bedroom. There are certain kinks or fetishes that you should definitely not be trying in the bedroom for various reasons. Some of these things are just not appropriate to do when you’re hooking up with someone, although you may enjoy it perfectly well with a trusted partner. It really depends on you and your preferences, but these are six of the worst kinks or fetishes to try during a hookup.
1. Food Play – That’s How You Get Ants!Food play may seem like an interesting and crazy idea, and it might seem fun to try out in the bedroom. However, unless you’re talking about something mild like a little bit of whipped cream or chocolate sauce, this is usually not a good idea. Smearing cake around might sound sexy, but in practice it is just messy. Plus, cleaning up is going to be a huge pain. You never know if you’re going to get all the crumbs, and nothing is less sexy than in an infestation in the bedroom. This sort of thing is best left to someone you know very well, and it is usually left to the less messy materials.
2. Wax Play – Only if You Want to Burn Your House DownWax play can be an interesting sensation, but it also has its dangers. The sort of thing is best left to someone you have an established relationship with a certain someone someone you trust quite a bit. Having tons of candles around might seem romantic, and dripping some of the wax onto your partner’s body can be extremely sexy. But if one of those candles tips over, you’re going from a sexy night to a real nightmare as you try to beat out the fire on the curtains. Definitely be careful with this one because it can go wrong in the blink of an eye.
3. Zoophilia, Pretend or Real… That’s Just Not Cool
Let’s be real, this is just not cool. It’s one thing if your cat or dog randomly wanders into the bedroom when you are having a bit of fun, but please leave it at that. Don’t even think about it. End of story.
4. Dendrophilia – Literal Tree Hugging? No ThanksThis one is a bit strange, so chances are slim that you will ever encounter it. Still, try to keep the bonsai trees or the actual trees pure. Rubbing against a tree is not a good idea, even if you are trying to have regular sex up against one. You can hurt yourself, and it’s just not really a good idea.
5. Agalmatophilia – Some People Love Their Dolls Way Too Much
Okay, so everyone has seen a sex doll or two, that doesn’t mean that they belong in your hookup. Introducing your favorite mannequin or sex doll into the bedroom is pretty weird and not something that most people are going to enjoy. Keep them in the closet where they belong instead of trying to drag them into your next hookup. It’s really not going to be a threesome similar to an experience, and everyone is just going to wind up feeling awkward and uncomfortable. If you ever hook up with someone who seems to want to do this, run far, far away. It’s just better to stay away while you can.
6. Formicophila – Leave the Bugs to the Exterminators
Talk about gross and unsanitary. Some people like having the ceiling of bugs crawling over them. That’s fine if they want to do it to themselves, but this is not the sort of thing they should ever introduce to a hookup. Keep yourself safe and clean and stay far away from someone who wants to do things like this. If that’s your thing, then go for it – the make sure that you are within an extremely dedicated and trusting partner. Otherwise, things aren’t going to go well.